Can Money Really Buy Happiness?
So is the saying true, “Money can’t buy happiness.”? Hmmmm… actually, it can.
I think the saying relates to material things, and in that case, the happiness is fleeting. Imagine this: you desperately want the watch you see in the advertisement. You save up enough money (or put in on the credit card) and get the watch. For a little while, you’re happy with that shiny new watch on your wrist. And then… suddenly, another watch catches your attention, and suddenly, you’re unhappy again because you don’t have THAT one.
There’s always something out there that you don’t have, and if you let it, that will make you sad.
The conclusion is that spending money on THINGS, no matter how amazing they are, will always, inevitably, leave you wanting more.
So how does money buy happiness? One theory says that when we spend money on experiences, happiness is longer-lasting.
When you spend money on experiences – travel, for example, you’ll be happier than if you spent that same amount on a new toy.
Unless… the experience is not authentically “you.” You can have all the life experiences you want – including extreme experiences, or more unusual, luxurious, exclusive, etc… but unless they’re “you,” you’re not going to be happy after either a material purchase or an experiential purchase. Example: I am a passionate mountain biker. If I could go on a summer-long mountain bike expedition, I would be over-the-moon excited. But if I were given an all-expenses paid, luxury cruise, or season tickets to baseball, I would not be happy with those experiences.
And so, we can’t make a general statement like “money spent on experiences will bring happiness” because if it’s the wrong experience, it’s all for naught.
So how much money, spent in the right ways for YOU, will make you happy? The answer is just as individual as you. With that said, here are a few guidelines that you can use to make sure that money buys happiness:
Material things rarely bring lasting happiness.
1. Having “enough” money.
That means, spend less than you earn so that you can use whatever is left over, on things that bring you happiness. A bonus of this type of lifestyle is that you have far, far less financial stress than someone who maxes out the credit cards to buy a new toy. If you’re where I was not that long ago, that’s lovely advice but it didn’t pay the bills. I was barely – and I mean barely – scraping by, and there was NO money left over for luxuries, toys, experiences (even going out for a movie). So what did I do? I read, I hiked, I camped, I rode my bike and I took pictures. Money = fun was an equation that did not apply to me. In time, I overcame my poverty and now enjoy plenty left over for fun. Has it made me any happier? Not really – but definitely less stressed!
2. Don’t spend money on impulse buys. Make yourself wait.
Impulses are “hot” in the moment but how many “cute” outfits do you (or a woman you know) have in the closet, hanging there with the tags still on, or worn only once and then forgotten? Learn to delay your gratification, walk out of the store without buying that thing you “must” have, and a week later, ask yourself if you still desire it. If so – strongly – and you can afford it, go for it. Buy the thing. If the desire isn’t there, you’ve just saved yourself a bunch of money and you can breathe easier knowing that you can still be happy without that thing.
3. Use money to accomplish something.
If you take the focus off yourself and put it onto a cause you’re passionate about, you will be happy. This can go beyond charitable giving – keeping the focus on your dreams, by putting money into a project you are passionate about like remodeling your house, growing your wine collection, fostering homeless pets, etc. Whether the accomplishment is about you or beyond you, if the money accomplishes some goal, you’ll be happy.
Experiences, and achieving something, bring more happiness than “stuff.”
4. Use money to help others.
NOT by becoming the “First Bank of You” to your kids, family or even friends to the point where people take advantage of you – but by doing lovely things for people, for no reason other than you want to, and can. Take a friend on a weekend getaway. Hire your neighbor’s kid to walk the dog or do yardwork (even if you have time to do it yourself – just to help out the neighbor kid). Buy everyone in the office lunch.
It really boils down to HOW you spend your money. A new mountain bike would make me happy, for example, but I am already happy with the one I have so it’s not necessary. I’d rather spend the money on a bikepacking adventure.
You can look at past patterns to see whether you’ve been spending any discretionary income on what makes you happy – I mentioned closets full of unworn clothing as an example of money used on fleeting happiness, but think about the trips you’ve taken, the museum tours, the dinners out, the toys… and if you identify what you spent money on that brought lasting happiness – even if it is cute outfits and watches – then by all means, spend your money there and make yourself happy. Forget the rest! Luxury spending on stuff and experiences you don’t want or need, won’t make you happy. Just be true to YOU.
Tip of the day: if you want to build more self-discipline when it comes to walking out of the store without having made a purchase, turn to the Silva Method! The self-reprogramming exercises and physical cues like the Three Fingers Technique will help you reduce the “need” and strong desire you feel at the moment and give you the strength to walk away.
Silva Method Life
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